Trust

Note: This all comes from the perspective of someone who was lied to and cheated on by their significant other, NOT the point of view of liar/cheater. There's a different story to be told there.

     With time comes clarity and with clarity comes some uncomfortable truths about previous relationships. Probably the most uncomfortable truth of all comes in the form of trust. You had a relationship with someone to whom you gave your heart and soul, you presumed they did the same, and hell maybe they actually did. At some point, they cheated. They cheated, they lied, and you and your heart got screwed. The relationship ended. Now, you're trying to forge ahead with your life and you're left facing one cold hard fact: you didn't know this person as well as you thought.
     Whether it took 5 months or 5 years, at some point in the relationship you were sure you had the other person all figured out, backwards and forwards, left and right, up and down. You started to take things for granted, like faithfulness and honesty, not because you didn't appreciate these qualities in your lover, but because you assumed they would always be there because you thought you knew them. Oh he'd never cheat on me, he's too good of a person for that. She'd never lie about that, she respects me more than that. Then of course, it all goes to hell, and the person reveals themselves to be not what you thought.
     How do you move on, not from the relationship itself, but from the idea that this person you thought you knew so well, did things you could never conceive of them doing? Even more importantly, how do you trust someone new? You thought you knew this lover so well and it turns out you didn't. Who's to say that the next one will be any different?
     Want to know a secret? I don't have a good answer. The only way to trust someone new, is to let yourself... to believe that this person will be different and remind yourself not to lug your towering pile of trust issues through the front door with you every time you see them. As they say, "don't blame a new love for things an old one did" or as Will Smith so poetically puts it "ain't no pain like from the opposite sex, just remember son, don't take it out on the next".
     It's hard to trust again after heartbreak. It's immensely hard, but it's something that you have to do. Being open to heartbreak means being open to love and if you've chosen the new person with care and good sense, maybe this time, they won't let you down.